Open Wide for some Soccer!

Yes, I'm blogging about the World Cup.  But first, a few random notes.

1.  I haven't been much of a hockey fan over the last few years.  I like Olympic hockey much more than NHL hockey.  I like the outdoor games, but other than that, I don't watch very much regular season hockey at all.  The Rangers might have brought me back in.  Disappointing finish, but it was easily their best season since 1994.  I was once a big hockey fan.  From about fifth grade through high school, I was a really big Rangers fan.  Brian Leetch was my favorite player.  I don't think I've had a favorite player since he left, but I think the torch has been passed finally to Ryan McDonagh.  A couple of other factors, though.  Hockey and basketball have seasons that almost entirely overlap.  Growing up, I could watch the Rangers, but not the Celtics.  Being able to watch the Celtics all the time with NBA League Pass probably contributed to me drifting away from hockey.  It's hard to get fully in to both sports.  Also, I loved the NHL video games.  My days playing hockey video games are over.  So will I get fully back in as a hockey fan?  I don't know.  We'll have to see next season.  One thing I really want to do next season is go to a game at the Nassau Coliseum before the Islanders move to Brooklyn.

2.  Thank you, Spurs.  I thoroughly enjoyed seeing you take apart the Heat.  The Heat and Rangers both lost in five, but the Rangers could have won three of the games they lost (I know, they could have lost the game they won also).  The Heat on the other hand, not so much.  With no Knicks or Lakers in the playoffs, the Heat winning the championship was the only possible bad result.  The Spurs took care of business.  Tim Duncan is the best player since Michael Jordan until somebody takes that title from him.  Everybody wants to say Kobe Bryant or LeBron James.  No.  Kobe Bryant has won as many championships, but Shaquille O'Neal was the best player on three of those teams.  Tim Duncan was the best player on four of his championship teams.  LeBron James might pass Duncan, but he's not there yet.

3.  Rest in Peace, Tony Gwynn.  I don't like the Padres at all, but I really respected Tony Gwynn.  When so many players were cheating, he was playing the game the right way.  When I listed my favorite post-Cold War players, leaving Tony Gwynn off was an oversight.  Since Jose Canseco is on the All-Jim Team but permanently suspended, let's give Tony Gwynn his spot.

And with that, let's get to my first ever soccer post.  I am not a soccer fan and I don't pretend to be one.  However, I am a fan of the United States, sports, and international competition.  So am I excited about the World Cup with its fast kickin', low scoring, and ties?  You bet.  And we get to see all our favorite soccer stars.  Like Ariaga!  Ariaga II!  Bariaga!  Aruglia!  And Pizzoza!  Man, that's a great Simpsons episode.

To celebrate the World Cup, I'm going to rank the 32 teams in reverse order of how I want them to finish If you know me, you can probably figure out spots 1, 2, 3, 31, and 32.  These rankings have absolutely no connection to what is going to happen.  Anyway, here we go:

32.  Iran
31.  Russia
I have nothing good to say about these countries.  The Iranians want to wipe Israel off the map and I want to wipe them out of the World Cup without a win.  And Vladimir Putin is a scumbag.  If I ever wanted to visit Russia, they probably wouldn't let me in the country.  Either that or I wouldn't be allowed to leave.

30.  Mexico
29.  Germany
28.  Spain
We've fought wars with all of these countries, but that's only a small part of why I have them so low.  For Mexico, I don't like the idea of another country on the continent being better than us at anything.  Germany and Spain are two of the favorites (maybe? I don't exactly know what I'm talking about) so I'm going to root against them.

27.  France
I'm not as anti-France as I once was, but I still don't like them too much.  Ten years ago, they'd probably be number 30 on this list (I considered going there for a day last summer when I was in England, I wouldn't have even considered it a decade ago).  I'll put them this high just for the Marquis de Lafayette (an honorary American citizen), easily my favorite Frenchman of all time.

26.  Uruguay
25.  Colombia
24.  Cameroon
Two South American countries and an African country.  Whatever.

23.  Ghana
They're in our group and they're not Germany.

22.  Ecuador
21.  Algeria
20.  Bosnia and Herzegovina
19.  Chile
18.  Costa Rica
17.  Ivory Coast
I don't have any thoughts about Ecuador, Algeria, or Bosnia and Herzegovina.  Chile's flag is almost the Texas flag.  Costa Rica and the Ivory Coast are strongly named countries.

16.  Brazil
They're the home country and the favorite (I think).  It would be cool for them if they won, but it wouldn't do anything for me.

15.  Honduras
14.  The Netherlands
I'm putting Honduras ahead of two countries in their group (France and Ecuador).  I once had a professor from the Netherlands.  He was a good guy.  But what's up with the whole the Netherlands/Holland thing?  And why are their people Dutch?

13.  Greece
12.  Italy
These countries seem like interesting places to go to.  They both have a lot of history.  And to get to the Vatican, you'd have to go through Italy.

11.  Portugal
The Wall Street Journal put out the World Cup of Everything Else.  Portugal would win for most Catholics as a percentage of the population.  Also, Homer Simpson is a fan.

10.  Nigeria
9.  Belgium
Nigeria is in the same group as Iran.  Belgium is in the same group as Russia.

8.  Croatia
I guess they're the team I want to win Group A.

7.  Switzerland
My brother Sean was in Switzerland 14 years ago and he seemed to like it.  I want them to win Group E.

6.  Japan
5.  South Korea
I like these countries, but I have no desire to ever travel to a country where I can't even read the writing.  But I give them credit for their commitment to capitalism.

4.  Argentina
For Pope Francis and Manu Ginobili (number 6 on my list of favorite NBA players*).

3.  England
Our most important ally in the world.  But why is it England in the World Cup but Great Britain in the Olympics?  Why do Scotland and Wales get included for the Olympics, but not for the World Cup?  I would love to know the answer to this.

2.  Australia
Our most loyal ally in the world.  And they have the best accent in the world (at least of English-speaking countries, but probably the entire world).  They have kangaroos.  Father Miscamble came from Australia (my favorite professor at Notre Dame, he should be president of the university).  I really need to go there someday.  My only question:  Why do they wear yellow and green?

1.  United States of America
You knew this already.