NBA Draft Diary

In my first job as a writer with the esteemed periodical The Alvernian from 2004-2012, many of my columns borrowed ideas from Bill Simmons.  Tonight, with Simmons working the draft, I’m blatantly stealing his draft diary.  I plan on making fun of him as much as possible.  This is being billed as the worst draft since 2000.  But the big news today is the possible Celtics-Nets trade.  I don’t know if I’m emotionally ready for that trade.

My thoughts on the trade on Friday morning:  I am totally fine with trading Kevin Garnett.  He’s one of my favorite Celtics ever, but he was only a Celtic for six years.  He’ll have his number retired, but he didn’t need to end his career with the Celtics.  As for Paul Pierce, this hurts.  If he had stayed long enough, he would have broken Havlicek’s franchise scoring record.  I have him ranked behind only Bill Russell, Larry Bird, John Havlicek, and Bob Cousy on the list of greatest Celtics ever.  I wanted him to finish his career with the Celtics.  As much as it hurts, I think it’s a good basketball decision.  Bill Simmons doesn’t like taking on Gerald Wallace’s contract.  The Celtics aren’t going to be good for the next three years, so I don’t care about that.  In my diary, I brought up the Patrick Ewing trade that destroyed the Knicks for a decade.  This might seem similar in that both trades involved trading aging superstars, but it’s different.  The Knicks got no long-term value.  This trade for the Celtics was all about long-term value.  Sure, the players they got won’t be as good as Pierce and Garnett, but they weren’t winning another championship with Pierce and Garnett anyway.  So instead of just hanging on to Pierce and Garnett until they retire, the Celtics got three first round picks and perhaps some value in Marshon Brooks (I mentioned Reggie Evans in the diary, but now it sounds like the Celtics are getting Marshon Brooks instead).  The 2014 pick from the Nets won’t be a lottery pick, but 2016 or 2018 might be lottery picks.  The Celtics need to think about winning championships.  That wasn’t going to happen in the next three years with Pierce, Garnett, and Doc Rivers.  Maybe the four draft picks they got for those guys will help them win a championship in the future.

Anyway, I’m joined this evening by my dad, who I’ve been watching drafts with since the early 1990s.  He’s also a Celtics fan.  I got home from my friends’ baseball game at 7:29, so by the time I got settled in, it was time for the draft to start.  Here we go:

7:41- David Stern comes out to announce the first pick.  He pauses and eggs on the crowd.  The first pick is Anthony Bennett.  Bill Simmons makes a noise to express his disbelief.

7:43- Shane Battier is interviewing the draft picks?  Well, he was the guy who confused Craig Sager by using the word “archaic” in his draft interview in 2001.  Battier is definitely one of the five smartest people in the Barclays Center tonight, so I guess it’s a good choice.  I learned from the interview that Anthony Bennett is Canadian.  I don’t really know anything else about him.  He doesn’t look Canadian.

I was expecting Anthony Bennett to look like this.

7:44- They showed a replay of Bill Simmons’s reaction.  For some reason, they didn’t include the audio.

7:46- The Magic take Victor Oladipo.  Jay Bilas tells us he had 12 and a half deflections per game this year.  Is that possible?  Nobody kept track of that stat two years ago.  I like this pick.

7:49- Battier interviews Victor Oladipo.  My only thought while watching this is that if he turns out to be good, he definitely won’t stay with the Magic.  Nobody good stays with the Magic.

7:51- Otto Porter for the Wizards?

7:52- David Stern tells the crowd he can’t hear them.  They boo and he gives the thumbs up.  The Wizards take Porter.  My Georgetown brother is not high on Porter.  I saw him in the tournament.  He was a non-factor against Florida Gulf Coast.  That’s the type of player you’re looking for with the third pick of the draft.

7:54- Jay Bilas mentions the Reggie Cleveland All Stars, one of my favorite Bill Simmons gimmicks ever.

7:56- My dad mentions that the Bobcats have had 8 losing seasons in their 9 years.  He sounds surprised.  I’m surprised too.  It feels more like 10 losing seasons in their 9 years.

7:58- Stern gets booed again.  Is Adam Silver going to get booed like this next year?  It just won’t be the same.

7:59- Cody Zeller?  Really?  I lived in the same dorm as his brother, so I’ll root for him.  I liked him in college, but he just seems to me like one of those good college players that isn’t a good NBA player.

8:01- Jay Bilas is talking about how athletic Cody Zeller is.  This is shocking because…how can I put this?  It’s shocking because he’s not on the Reggie Cleveland All Stars.

8:04- On SportsCenter, they show people outside a courthouse chanting “innocent” for Aaron Hernandez.  This is America and you are innocent until proven guilty, but I have a strong feeling that he will be proven guilty.  I’m just waiting for the Jets to show interest in Aaron Hernandez to get some headlines.

8:07- The Suns take Alex Len.  I had never heard of this guy until a week ago.  He wasn’t first, second, or third team All ACC.  Should you be the fifth pick of the draft if you can’t make third team All ACC?  I say no.  But the fact that he’s from Ukraine makes me think of this:  Ukraine is game to you!

8:10- I wouldn’t have taken Nerlens Noel number 1 either.  Can you picture a guy named Nerlens being a great player?  I heard some stories about him being pretty shady.   So I understand teams passing him up, but if you take him now, you might get a guy that’s angry about sliding this far (like Pierce in 1998).  So I’d be pretty excited about drafting him from here on out.

8:12- The Pelicans take Noel.  Rece Davis notes his hair, which is pretty awesome.

8:13- Bill Simmons said he’d be terrified of going to the rim if he was playing the Pelicans.  I’m going to disagree.  Noel and Anthony Davis might be a combined 14 feet tall, but their combined weight should probably be closer to 500 pounds than 400 pounds at that height.

8:15- John Calipari is on TV.  How long until he leaves Kentucky followed by Kentucky being put on probation, forfeiting victories, and/or losing scholarships?

8:16- The Kings take Ben McLemore.

8:19- In his interview with Shane Battier, McLemore mentions his brother, who’s locked up right now.  Well, that’s nice.

8:20- They show Trey Burke.  I can’t tell you how much I despise Michigan.

8:23- Andy Katz tells us Nerlens Noel is going to Philadelphia.

8:24- Kentavious Caldwell-Pope was drafted by Detroit.  His name is too long.  If I was a play-by-play guy, I’d pick one of those last names and go with it.  I’d also refuse to call Ron Artest (probably number 2 on my list of least favorite players) by that ridiculous name he changed his name to.

8:25- Bilas on Kentavious:  “He’s a shooter, and a jump shooter.”  Thanks Bilas, I thought for a second he was one of the many set shooters in the draft.

8:29- Simmons makes his noise of disbelief again when he hears that Jrue Holliday is in the Noel trade.

8:31- Trey Burke goes to Minnesota.  Now I have reason to root against the Timberwolves.  If only Kevin McHale was still around to trade Kevin Love to the Celtics.

8:36- Portland takes C.J. McCollum.  Bill Simmons just called this his favorite draft ever.

8:37- Bilas on McCollum:  “He’s not just a shooter, he’s a scorer.”  So C.J. McCollum is not 2012-13 Stephen Jackson, who was just a shooter.

8:43- Philadelphia takes Michael Carter-Williams.  I despise Syracuse, but not as much as I despise Michigan.  Again, I would pick one of his last names and go with it.

8:49- Oklahoma City is on the clock because they traded James Harden and his beard.

8:50- Oklahoma City takes Steven Adams, who’s from New Zealand.  I would be a lot more excited if he was Australian.  My dad says he didn’t do much against Notre Dame.  I watched that game and have no memory of Steven Adams.  A check of the box score shows he had 8 points and 4 rebounds against a not particularly good Notre Dame defense.  Yep, totally worth giving up James Harden for Steven Adams and the other random crap Oklahoma City got.

8:56- Chris Broussard says Dwight Howard’s top two choices are Dallas and Houston.  I’d be really happy if I was a Laker fan right now.

8:58- Dallas takes Kelly Olynyk.  We get the ominous “Kelly is not here” from David Stern.  My dad says the Celtics wanted him.  I say I didn’t want him and of course this happens less than a minute later…

8:59- Andy Katz tells us that the Olynyk is going to the Celtics.

9:03- I remember watching Gonzaga and being very underwhelmed by Kelly Olynyk.  It’s time to start drinking.  And the Jazz are on the clock.  Who’s the best white guy available?

9:04- I’m drinking Sam Adams Summer Ale (of course I am).  The Jazz took a guy named Shabazz Muhammad instead of a white guy.  Too bad he’s not white because he would have been the greatest Reggie Cleveland All Star of all time.

9:08- Bill Simmons says his dad loved the Kelly Olynyk pick.  I couldn’t be less excited.

9:11- Milwaukee took Giannis Antetokounmpo.  He’s from Greece.  Fran Fraschilla likes the pick.  Bill Simmons says he looked like a Greek Paul George going against an 8^th grade CYO team.  I would have been a lot more excited about the Celtics taking this guy instead of Kelly Olynyk.  The only problem is that his name is way too difficult to say.

9:14- Andy Katz says the Celtics are picking for Dallas or Atlanta.  Dallas wanted out of this draft.  Good thinking, Dallas.

9:16- Bill Simmons says Andrew Wiggins is the most exciting prospect since Kevin Durant.  If only David Stern was still going to be around to rig the lottery for the Celtics next year.

9:17- The Celtics take Lucas Nogueira for somebody else.  He puts a hat on top of his afro.  We suddenly lost sound as Bill Simmons was commenting on it.  I’m going to say this was no coincidence.  Unfortunately, we will never know what he was saying.

9:23- The Hawks take Dennis Schroeder from Germany.  Fran Fraschilla likes him and compares him to Rajon Rondo.  Are there any foreign players that he doesn’t like?

9:28- The ESPN guys are getting way too intense in their discussion about how to pronounce Dennis Schroeder’s last name.

9:29- The Hawks take their second straight point guard with Shane Larkin.  Bill Simmons makes the predictable David Kahn joke (which I would have made here if he didn’t make it on TV).

9:31- I just googled Barry Larkin just to make sure he went to Michigan.  He did.  His son went to Miami.  This is not my favorite family.

9:32- Andy Katz tells us Shane Larkin is going to Dallas.

9:37- Cleveland takes Sergey Karasev.  He’s from Russia and he’s going back to Russia to play in a game tomorrow.

9:39- Shane Battier interviews Sergey.  Sergey needs some work on his English.

9:44- David Stern announces that the Bulls’ selection, Tony Snell, is not here, but Shabazz Muhammad is here and he emerges from backstage.  That was pretty awkward.

9:45- Utah is on the clock again.  Come on Jazz, take a white guy.  Don’t let me down.

9:46- Shane Battier interviews Shabazz Muhammad and says he’s going to Minnesota.  I had no idea about this, but Rece Davis clears up my confusion.  He says he’s going to Minnesota in the Trey Burke trade.  And Utah is not drafting for themselves right now.

9:50- David Stern is going to miss this.  “We’ve had to explain to the international audience that the boo is an American sign of respect.”

9:51- Gorgui Dieng is taken by the Jazz for the Timberwolves and Stern explains that Gorgui graduated from the NBA’s Basketball Without Borders Africa Program.  Okay then.

9:57- Bill Simmons is angry about this Celtics-Nets trade.  I’ll take some more time to think about this.

9:58- The Nets take Mason Plumlee.  I feel like he’s going to be one of those Duke guys that doesn’t turn out to be a good NBA player.

9:59- Bill Simmons compares Plumlee to Greg Stiemsma.  That means that if the Celtics had taken Plumlee, Tommy Heinsohn would have compared him to Bill Russell.

10:04- The Pacers take Solomon Hill.  Jay Bilas compares him to Draymond Green.  I hope that’s a good comparison because I like Draymond Green and possibly after the Nets, the Pacers are the team I want to win the East until the Celtics are good again.

10:06- The Knicks are on the clock.  They show Spike Lee on ESPN.  Boo.

10:10- The Knicks take Tim Hardaway, Jr.  I didn’t need any more reasons to dislike the Knicks, but I got one.

10:12- Spike Lee is being interviewed on ESPN.  I will now light myself on fire.

10:16- The Clippers take Reggie Bullock.  The way Jay Bilas is describing him makes me think he’s like Kawhi Leonard, who is one of my new favorite players.  But Simmons compares him to another Spur, Danny Green.

10:19- Bill Simmons is not happy with Doc Rivers.  He might have quit on the Celtics, but I don’t blame him.  Phil Jackson never stuck around to coach a crappy team.  As important as a coach can be, you need the players.  The Celtics don’t have the players now, but they got a first round pick for a coach.  I’ll take it.

10:21- David Stern announces the Celtics-Mavericks trade.  For a second there, I was worried that he was going to announce the Celtics-Nets trade, even though that can’t be finalized until July 10.  Minnesota takes Andre Roberson for the Warriors.  Rece Davis says he wants David Stern to put his hand to his ear like Hulk Hogan to egg on the crowd.  Rece also makes fun of Roberson’s suit, but I have to say, I miss the 1990s.  That was the Golden Age of ridiculous suits at the NBA Draft.

10:26- I’m switching over to Sam Adams Porch Rocker, another very solid summer beer.  David Stern announces the Timberwolves-Jazz trade.  Then he eggs on the crowd.  Only a few more picks.  The Nuggets take a French guy, Rudy Gobert.  Fran Fraschilla tells us he has the longest wingspan ever recorded at the NBA combine.  I’m starting to make more typos as I continue to drink, but at this point, I’m still correcting them.

10:32- The ESPN guys are talking about the Spurs losing the Finals.  Losing the way they did would have been the most painful thing ever if they hadn’t won four championships during the Tim Duncan Era.

10:35- The Spurs take Livio Jean-Charles from French Guiana.  My dad has never heard of him and he probably pays more attention to the draft than anybody I know.  Fran Fraschilla struggles to say “in perpetuity,” and asks if he said it correctly.  He didn’t, but Rece Davis said he did.

10:38- My dad asks how the Dodgers are doing.  A quick check on the phone shows they’re winning 3-1.  The Dodgers have been depressing for most of the season, but now that they’re finally getting healthy, I’m in on them.

10:40- Andy Katz just explained what’s going on with this 29^th draft pick.  I’m on my third beer right now and I didn’t follow everything he just said.  But the Thunder took Archie Goodwin for somebody else, I think.

10:43- David Stern is about to announce his last draft pick.  His first draft was 1984, the year I was born.  It won’t be the same without him.  This will be his 839^th pick.

10:45- A David Stern draft montage?  Yes!

10:49- Stern gets a standing ovation for his last pick.  Well deserved.  The last pick he announces is Nemanja Nedovic from Serbia for the Suns, but he’s going to the Warriors.  Stern introduces Adam Silver, who gets booed.  Adam Silver brings out David Stern’s first pick, Hakeem Olajuwon, who looks very happy.  They show the picture of Akeem and David Stern shaking hands at the 1984 Draft (Hakeem was Akeem back then), which is amazing.

10:53- Bill Simmons only does the first round in his draft diaries, but I’m going to keep this going.  I probably won’t mention every single player that gets drafted in the second round.

10:54- I go to visitlondon.com and the first category I click on is “Brewery/Distillery.”  I’ll be in London in about 52 hours.

10:58- Chris Broussard says this Celtics-Nets trade is happening.  My sober thoughts will be added to my introduction tomorrow.

10:59- Cleveland just took Allen Crabbe.

11:01- Bill Simmons says Gerald Wallace’s contract is terrible.  Probably true, but he only has three more years.  The Celtics aren’t going to be good for the next three years anyway.  My dad is in favor of the trade.  It sounds like I’ll be rooting for the Nets next year (I’m still a Celtics fan of course, but of the teams that have a legitimate chance of contending, I’ll be rooting for the Nets). 

11:11- Somebody just took Glen Rice, Jr.  This reminds me of how trading Patrick Ewing for Glen Rice destroyed the Knicks back in the day.  My brother Sean was right about that trade.  Everybody wanted the Knicks to get rid of Ewing, but they should have just let his contract expire and taken the cap space.

11:21- Portland just took Jeff Withey.  I like this dude.  He played for a big time program and played some really solid defense.  Alex Len played in a big time conference and I never heard of him.  I’m not predicting that Withey will be a better player than Len, but I like taking Withey at number 40 better than taking Len at number 5.

11:25- Memphis took Jamaal Franklin.  Bill Simmons makes fun of the pick, but I like it.  I was there to see him put up 21 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, and 2 steals in the tournament against Oklahoma.  Sure, it’s a small sample size, but he was better than Otto Porter that day.

11:41- Rece Davis talks about the greatest Brazilian one-named athlete name ever:  Fred.  That is pretty awesome.  I jus t googled Fred.  He’s a soccer player.

11:44- The Lakers just took Ryan Kelly.  Bill Simmons says, “He’s now the third best guy on their team.”  Although he’s one phoneme off from having the same name as one of my favorite people in sports, he’s a Laker and hence one of my least favorite people in sports.  The ESPN guys talk about Dwight Howard.  If I’m the Lakers, I just want Dwight Howard gone.  There are good stats, bad team guys.  Dwight Howard is a good stats, good team, but not championship team guys.  If I had a choice between giving Dwight Howard a huge contract and trying to get some cap space for the future, I’d rather have the cap space.

11:46- Erik Murphy was just drafted, leading to Entourage jokes from the ESPn guys.  Entourage would be the worst show that I’ve seen every episode of, but there are at least two MTV reality shows that I’ve seen every episode of.

11:51- Romero Osby was just drafted.  I saw him lose to Jamaal Franklin.  He had 22 points and 8 rebounds against San Diego State.  Good numbers, but he struck me as a good college player, not a good NBA player type of guy.

11:52- Doc Rivers is being interviewed as the coach of the Clippers.  This is a little weird.  While I was in favor of the Doc Rivers trade, I’ll miss him.  It doesn’t really matter who the next coach of the Celtics is.  It matters who the coach of the Celtics is three years from now.  Hopefully they can find somebody close to being as good as Doc Rivers.

11:53- We have a Bill Simmons-Doc Rivers feud.  I’m siding with Doc Rivers.

11:59- Arsalan Kazemi is the first Iranian drafted.  Um, I don’t like Iran.

12:00- Colton Iverson is going to the Celtics.  My dad likes this.  I don’t know anything about him.  Supposedly he’s a good rebounder.  The Celtics have been a bad rebounding team for years.  Now, they’re just going to be a bad team.  But maybe they’ll be a bad team that can rebound with Reggie Evans and Colton Iverson.  So they’ve got that going for them.

12:06- Bill Simmons on Peyton Siva:  “I like this guy.  Why can’t he be an 11^th man?”  Yeah, you like him so much that you expect him to never play meaningful minutes.

12:19- Adam Silver announces two more trades.  I’m not interested in either of these trades.  The Grizzles take Janis Timma from Latvia with the last pick of the draft.  Even Fran Fraschilla doesn’t seem excited about this pick.

12:22- My dad changed the channel in time to see Yasiel Puig hit a 2-run single with the bases loaded and two outs on an 0-2 count.  The Dodgers take a 5-4 lead.

Well, that’s the right time to end this diary.  I enjoyued drinking and writing this.  If you read all of this, thanks for taking all that time.

That Only Took 17 Years

I hate interleague play.  I hate it so much that I came up with a plan for expansion and realignment to solve the problem of having interleague play every day (even if you like interleague play, having it every day is ridiculous).  However, I know it's not going away.  So if you're going to have interleague play, you want some compelling match ups.  I know you're going to have to deal with Mariners-Marlins from time to time, but there are some interleague match ups that are interesting.  You know, like the most common World Series match up ever.  The Dodgers and Yankees have played in the World Series 11 times (the next most common match up is Yankees-Giants at 7).  Four years ago, both teams were playing in their League Championship Series.  If they had both gotten to the World Series, I was planning on going to Game 6.  I had Game 6 in mind for two reasons.  First, it would be cheaper than Game 7.  I had an amount of money that I was willing to pay.  It was less than I was willing to pay to see Notre Dame in the National Championship Game, where I probably would have been willing to pay up to 20% of my annual salary (for a ticket, flights, and accommodations), but still substantial.  It easily would have been the most expensive baseball tickets I ever bought, but I think I could have done it.  And second, unlike Games 1 and 2, somebody would have a chance to win the World Series if the series got that far.  Of course, the Phillies beat the Dodgers and my dream World Series match up didn't happen.

For some reason known only to Major League Baseball scheduling guys, the Dodgers were the only National League team that didn't visit either Yankee Stadium in the first 16 years of interleague play.  The Dodgers and Yankees played in Los Angeles in 2004 and 2010.  So I really wanted to go to the first Dodger-Yankee game at Yankee Stadium since October 1981.  The first game was scheduled for last night.  I bought tickets for last night, not thinking about the fact that the NBA Finals is always Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday.  If the Heat had beaten the Pacers in a short series, last night might have been Game 7 of the Finals.  I was willing to miss Game 6, but I probably would have skipped the baseball game if it had been Game 7.

The forecast didn't look good, but it also didn't look like it was going to rain all night.  It never stopped raining.  My dad and I had just gotten close to Yankee Stadium when the game was cancelled.  Fortunately, we hadn't parked yet, so it was easier than it could have been to get out of the Bronx and go home.  The good news was that we got to watch Game 6 (hopefully more on that to come tomorrow).

I took this picture right after we found out Tuesday night's game was rained out.  You can see the top of the stadium in the background.

The game was rescheduled for 1:05 this afternoon.  The forecast was 75 degrees and sunny, much better than sitting in the rain the night before would have been (although our seats would have been covered by the facade).  Thanks to a half day at school, I was able to go.  I figured traffic wouldn't be bad in the middle of the day.  I was wrong.  Traffic was bad, but we only missed the top of the first.

This is where the old stadium was.

I won't go through all the details of the game, but here are some highlights:
Small crowd, but lots of Dodger fans and people of Asian descent in the building with Ryu and Kuroda pitching.
Some guy named Thomas Neal was DHing and hitting fifth for the Yankees.
Hanley Ramirez had a home run and three other hits.
Yasiel Puig lowered his batting average by going 2 for 5, including this double (I had never seen anything like that before).
Ronald Belisario made two errors on one play (I had seen a team make two errors on the same play, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen a pitcher make two errors on the same play).
Mariano Rivera.

Our view of the game.

This Dodger team has been really frustrating.  Opening Day was amazing.  Clayton Kershaw continues to be great.  Adrian Gonzalez has been solid.  Hyun-Jin Ryu has been pretty good in his first season in the US.  And after game 2 of the split doubleheader (I went to the wrong game), Yasiel Puig is currently hitting .474 in 57 at bats.  Obviously it's a small sample size and he'll come back to earth at some point, but it's not that small of a sample size.  I can't really say anything else positive about the Dodgers.  Ronald Belisario has become my least favorite player (taking over for Juan Uribe, actually we can add Uribe going from horrendous to decent this season to the list of positives).  It was fitting that Belisario made two errors on one play to give the momentum right back to the Yankees after the Dodgers cut the lead to one run.  But there's still time to turn it around.  As George Will (or somebody) once said, everybody is going to win 60 games, everybody is going to lose 60 games, it's the other 42 games that will decide what happens.

While the result wasn't what I hoped for, it was a good day.  Afternoon baseball with dad, great weather, Dodgers at Yankee Stadium for the first time in 32 years.  When I bought the tickets, I was hoping the Dodgers would win by several runs and Mariano Rivera would pitch just to get some work in.  That wasn't going to happen with another game to play latter in the day.  Rivera was only pitching in a save situation or if it was some kind of crazy extra innings game.  As I have said before, Mariano Rivera is the best baseball player I've ever seen.  He came in for the ninth and mowed the Dodgers down.  I don't know if I'm going to another Yankee game this season.  And even if I do, Rivera might not pitch.  So if the Dodgers were going to lose, at least I got to see Mariano Rivera in person one last time.  He is a legend.  Goodbye, Mariano.

Rivera waits to get the ball back after a strikeout.