I'm guessing somebody has done this before, but I haven't seen it. I'm ranking all the bowl names. The rankings are based on history, the appropriateness of the name for the location, and how pleasing they are to say. Bowls that are only named for a corporate sponsor rank behind all the other bowls. Bowls that are only named for the place where they are played don't fare much better. The best are predictable, but I think you might be surprised by some of my rankings. Let's start at the bottom:
35. Belk Bowl
34. Beef 'O' Brady's Bowl
What the hell is Belk? Beef 'O' Brady's finishes ahead of Belk because it's much funnier.
33. AdvoCare V100 Bowl
32. BBVA Compass Bowl
The AdvoCare V100 Bowl should be the Independence Bowl, in which case it would have a decent ranking. The BBVA Compass Bowl used to be the Birmingham Bowl and the PapaJohns.com Bowl. The BBVA Compass Bowl is the second best of those three names.
31. Capital One Bowl
It's not terrible as far as corporate sponsors go, but it should be the Citrus Bowl.
30. GoDaddy Bowl
It's had other names that weren't good either. It should be shortened to the Daddy Bowl. That would be better.
29. Chick-fil-A Bowl
It's a decent sponsor name, but it should be the Peach Bowl, it which case it would probably rank in the top 10. There are reports that it's going back to the Peach Bowl next year.
28. Russell Athletic Bowl
If it was the Athletic Bowl sponsored by Russell, that wouldn't be terrible.
27. Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl
It's probably the sponsor name that makes the most sense.
26. Outback Bowl
It's not a bad name considering it's just named for a corporate sponsor. If the game was played in Australia, it would be a really good name.
25. Las Vegas Bowl
24. Texas Bowl
23. Heart of Dallas Bowl
22. New Mexico Bowl
21. New Orleans Bowl
20. Hawaii Bowl
I hate Las Vegas and everything that it stands for. I like Texas, but there are lots of bowls played in Texas. How about the Lone Star Bowl? It makes sense for Texas and you could make Spaceballs references. The Heart of Dallas Bowl? Whatever. I can't think of another name for the New Mexico Bowl. The New Orleans Bowl and Hawaii Bowl aren't bad, but the Bayou Bowl and Aloha Bowl would be better.
19. Fight Hunger Bowl
Can we just change this one to the Golden Gate Bowl? But actually, the game is moving to the new 49ers stadium in Santa Clara, so I guess that wouldn't really make sense.
18. Pizza Bowl
It loses points for being named the Pizza Bowl only because its corporate sponsor is Little Caesars. As soon as the sponsor changes, the name will change also. And I definitely don't associate pizza with Detroit. But I guess you don't want to name a bowl for things you would associate with Detroit. The Urban Blight Bowl doesn't sound too good.
17. Fiesta Bowl
It loses points for being the only bowl with a name in another language. I'd like it a lot better if it was the Cactus Bowl.
16. Music City Bowl
It's played in Nashville. Whatever.
15. Holiday Bowl
I'd like it more if it was actually played on a holiday.
14. BCS National Championship Game
Boring. Switching to the double hosting format for the championship game (adding the fifth BCS bowl) had a couple of negative effects. First, it devalued the other BCS games. The national championship used to be won in the Rose Bowl, Fiesta Bowl, Sugar Bowl, or Orange Bowl. Since the 2006 season, the national champions haven't played in any of those games. And second, it was a lot cooler to have the national championship decided in the Rose Bowl, Fiesta Bowl, Sugar Bowl, or Orange Bowl than in the very blandly named BCS National Championship Game. Next season it will be replaced by the College Football Championship Game. Slightly better (also, the big bowls will be revalued as the playoff games). I feel like they were trying to come up with a better name like when Krusty the Clown tells his writers that he wants the name of the new Itchy and Scratchy character to be "something along the line of say, Poochie, only more proactive," and they settled on the College Football Championship Game. How about the Rockne Bowl in honor of the greatest football coach of all time and the winner would get the Knute Rockne Trophy?
13. Military Bowl
12. Armed Forces Bowl
We've reached names that I actually like. Tough call here between these two. On the one hand, the Military Bowl might gain points because it's played in Annapolis. But they just moved it there this year, so I'm not giving them points for that. I'm giving the Armed Forces Bowl the edge because six out of the last seven games have featured a service academy. The Military Bowl has existed for six years and has only had a service academy twice.
11. Pinstripe Bowl
I'd probably prefer something that is more New York-specific rather than Yankee-specific. I'd like the Big Apple Bowl. But you have to give them credit for the fact that you know this name isn't going to change, unlike most of the games I've gone through so far.
10. Poinsettia Bowl
They should make this game the Mountain West champion against the MAC champion so it could really be the Rose Bowl's less attractive cousin.
9. Liberty Bowl
8. Gator Bowl
7. Sun Bowl
I like liberty. It gets points for being named after the stadium where it's played, but I don't associate liberty with Memphis. If it was played in Philadelphia, it would probably be a top five name. The Gator Bowl is the sixth oldest college bowl game and I definitely associate alligators with Florida. The Sun Bowl is tied with the Orange Bowl and Sugar Bowl as the second oldest bowl games. I don't specifically associate sun with El Paso, but that's just a really solid name. If that game had more prestige, it could be top five.
6. Famous Idaho Potato Bowl
This might be a controversial ranking. The game lacks prestige, but it's a good name. I'd shorten it to just the Potato Bowl, but it's a great name for a bowl played in Idaho. One problem with this name is that if the Idaho Potato Commission decides it doesn't want to sponsor the game anymore, the name is changing.
5. Cotton Bowl
It's the fifth oldest bowl game. It's a really good name. I like that it's named for the stadium where it used to be played. My only question: Should I associate cotton with Dallas?
4. Alamo Bowl
What do you think of when you think of San Antonio? The Alamo. And it's played in the Alamo Dome. It's a great name.
3. Sugar Bowl
There's a lot to like. New Orleans has hosted the most Super Bowls (10, tied with Miami). Of course, the Sugar Bowl has been around a lot longer than the Super Bowl, but many championships have been decided in the Sugar Bowl and I like that it's only two letters off from Super Bowl. Like the Cotton Bowl, I don't really associate sugar specifically with New Orleans. Maybe I should. But I think of the South in general when I think of sugar. Couldn't any bowl in the South be named the Sugar Bowl?
2. Rose Bowl
You were expecting this to be number 1. It's named for the stadium and it's the oldest bowl. Actually, it wasn't originally called the Rose Bowl and it wasn't played in the Rose Bowl until 1923. It was the Tournament East-West Football Game and played in Tournament Park. Great name, but again, I can find roses lots of places. I don't need to go to Southern California to find roses. But all the other bowl games were inspired by the Rose Bowl, so that's big points for the Rose Bowl.
1. Orange Bowl
The stadium was named for the game. Three Orange Bowls took place before the Orange Bowl was built. But the Orange Bowl is the perfect match of name and location. When I think of oranges, I think of Florida. It also gets points for the fact that the winner gets a bowl of oranges. There are other good names, but none of them make more sense than the Orange Bowl.
Happy New Year! Hopefully Notre Dame will be playing in the Rose Bowl or Sugar Bowl (the playoff games next year) a year from today. Go Irish!
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