Fast Food Power Rankings

John wanted a post about fast food.  My favorite part of his suggestion was how it came in an email right in the middle of two paragraphs about baseball.  It was baseball, fast food blog post, and then right back to baseball.  I don't know if I'm enough of an expert on fast food, but it was a really good idea.  Mike Bloomberg does not endorse this post.  If anybody has any comments, feel free to weigh in.

There's a difference between different types of fast food establishments.  McDonald's and Burger King are pretty much the same thing, but McDonald's and Subway are very different.  So how wide of a definition of fast food are we using?  I'm going with any large chain restaurant where I don't have a waiter or waitress.  So yes, McDonald's and Subway both qualify, but at least I have a clear line between fast food and not fast food.

I don't frequent many of these establishments so this is based mostly on stories I associate with each place rather than the food.  You'd likely come up with a much different list from mine (except for number 1, I would throw down if you argued against my number 1), but here we go.

12.  Sonic.  I can't put it any higher since I've never actually eaten at Sonic.  It makes the list because I remember during our trip to Georgia Tech in 2006 that Wilhelm was determined to get Sonic on that Saturday as we were just sitting around waiting for the game.  He did find a Sonic, but I didn't go with him.  Also, they have pretty solid commercials.

11.  Taco Bell.  It's been a really long time since I had Taco Bell.  I'm putting it on the list because I thought this picture was funny:

I think this picture tells you everything you need to know about Taco Bell these days.

10.  Wendy's.  If I was going to eat at Burger King, McDonald's, or Wendy's, it would be Wendy's.  Their spicy chicken sandwich is solid.

9.  Chick-fil-A.  I had Chick-fil-A with Darryl's military friends when I visited him in North Carolina last year.  I don't remember what I had, but it was solid.  Also, Wilhelm is a big fan of Chick-fil-A.  The Chipotle (don't worry, we'll get there) that we used to go to in college was right by a Chick-fil-A.  We would all go to Chipotle and Wilhelm would go to Chick-fil-A.

8.  Arby's.  I think I've only had Arby's once.  We stopped at one in Kentucky on the way to Atlanta.  Dennis was infatuated with the accent of the girl that took his order.  Arby's gets bonus points because David Puddy on Seinfeld was a big Arby's fan.

Dennis, Chris, Jon, and me at an Arby's in Kentucky.  Wilhelm isn't in the picture because he was lame and didn't wear a suit for the trip.

7.  Quiznos.  If I went to Quiznos more, it would probably be higher on the list.  John is a big fan. When we were working postcamp in 2004, John, Molly, Courtney, and I went to Quiznos one day during lunch.  While we were there, John was talking about how he once ate for the cycle at Quiznos (eating small, medium, and large sandwiches in one sitting).  Molly and Courtney didn't believe that he could do it, so John did it that day to prove it to them.  It was one of the more impressive eating feats that I've witnessed in person.  A month or two later, I got a call from John who was in his senior year at Marist.  One of his friends didn't believe that John had done it so I had to confirm it for him.  My question for John:  What eating accomplishment are you most proud of:  eating for the cycle at Quiznos, beating Vinny in the party bucket eating showdown at Ralph's, or something else?  I hope Jack gets to hear these stories someday.

6.  White Castle.  I've only eaten at White Castle once.  It was in 2003 during precamp.  Pete, Bill, and I went there for lunch after being docked several jalepeno cheeseburgers by Alex for our job performance.  While we were there, Bill had the idea for a reality show called "Scumbags."  That show had potential.  Too bad it never happened.  Pete, Bill, and I also used to talk about going to White Castle on 6:00 a.m. on Christmas morning.  It's been a long time since I've seen Bill, but I hope if I ever see him again, it's with Pete at White Castle on Christmas morning.  Then there was the time that John, Sean (I think), and I were picked up by Vinny after our bar crawl in Huntington in 2005.  We tried to go to Little Vincent's, but they were out of pizza (What's that about?).  Since we couldn't get Little Vincent's, Vinny drove us to White Castle in Commack.  I didn't eat anything at White Castle, but I did have a line that Vinny still loves to quote to this day.  I was kind of upset the next day about how much sleep that trip to White Castle cost me.

5.  McDonald's.  I would consider becoming a vegetarian before having a McDonald's combo meal.  Regular McDonald's food has absolutely zero appeal to me.  So why is it this high on the list?  First, their hot fudge sundae is excellent.  If I see a McDonald's at an airport, I'll enjoy one (my last one was when I had a layover in the Cincinnati airport on my way home the Michigan game in September).  Second, the McDonald's breakfast is solid and it played an important role in the movie Big Daddy.  And third, I like capitalism.  You have to give them credit for their success.

4/3.  In-N-Out Burger/Five Guys.  Now the actual fast food gets interesting.  And this is a debate that I've seen.  I'm giving Five Guys the edge, but I've only had In-N-Out once.  Unfortunately, In-N-Out is only in California, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, and Texas.  I'll be in Los Angeles soon (I don't know if I've mentioned that on the blog yet) and I'll try to get there again.  I'd be willing to reconsider.  But my first experience with both of these establishments was pretty similar and somewhat disappointing.  Actually, if I was just going on first experience, I'd give In-N-Out the edge.  In-N-Out was good, but it was just so hyped and I would say it didn't quite live up to the very high expectations I had (again, it was good, but I had very high expectations based on what I heard about it).  The first time I had Five Guys was when I went down to Washington DC in 2008 for my brother's bachelor party.  Vinny was still a student at Catholic, so I met up with him and went to Five Guys before the festivities got started.  I was not overly impressed with Five Guys that first time.  Since then, Five Guys has come to Long Island.  I decided to give it another chance in 2010 and I liked it a lot better than I had remembered from the first time I had it.  I'll go occasionally and always get the same burger:  little cheeseburger with grilled onions, green peppers, and barbeque  sauce.  I'm giving Five Guys the edge for their fries.  So if you're looking for a fast food burger and an incredibly unhealthy meal, my suggestion is Five Guys.

2.  Subway.  I had to rank Subway this high because of college.  My meal plan at Notre Dame was 14 meals per week in the dining halls plus $240 (or something like that) per semester to spend at various locations on campus.  The vast majority of that was spent at Subway (most of the rest was spent on stuff like soap and toothpaste).  Subway was in LaFortune, which was approximately 500 feet away from my dorm (I actually spent some time figuring that out).  I can remember a couple of really cold weekend days when I would go to Subway, get a footlong, chips, and a drink, and I wouldn't leave the dorm for the rest of the day because it was so cold.  If there was a big game that I was watching on TV, I'd grab Subway, bring it back to the lounge, watch the game, and love life.  My favorite Subway sandwich is the Italian BMT, but I'd work some others into the mix as well.  I've very rarely had Subway since college, but I had to put it this high because of free Subway 500 feet away from my dorm in college.  Subway also gets bonus points for its commercials.  Justin Tuck does commercials for Subway, and the Jared commercials led to the "Jared Has Aides" episode of South Park.

1.  Chipotle.  Really, this was easy.  There were two reasons for this.  First, I feel like I've accomplished something when I put down a Chipotle burrito.  It's such a great feeling that I don't get from any other eating experience.  Second, if I was getting the death penalty, I don't know what my last meal would be, but Chipotle is being considered.  I first discovered Chipotle during my Georgetown days and I've been in love ever since.  I remember when Chipotle first opened not too far from the Notre Dame campus in 2006.  The only bad part was that it was my last semester and Chipotle still didn't exist on Long Island.  My friends and I went the day it opened for a free burrito, but the line was way too long.  So we came back the next day and paid for our burritos (totally worth it).  Did we go there to celebrate after I took my last final of college?  Of course.  Probably the best development on Long Island since I graduated from college was Chipotle finally coming here in 2007.  I would occasionally drive the 26 miles from grad school in Oakdale to Chipotle in Hicksville to enjoy some amazingness.  When I got a job in Valley Stream, I would sometimes stop at the Chipotle in Farmingdale on my way to grad school in Oakdale.  Then I got a job in Farmingdale, which was wonderful.  Now I have a job in Hicksville and I pass the Hicksville Chipotle every day on my way home from work.  Chipotle is the one fast food that I would want to eat all the time.  When I have Five Guys, I have no desire to have Five Guys again for at least a month.  Definitely not the case with Chipotle.  My favorite is the barbacoa burrito with brown rice, pinto beans, mild salsa, cheese, and sour cream, but there are other good options so I'll mix it up every now and then.  I could have one Chipotle burrito and be good for the day.  No need to eat anything else.  Here's what I've wondered:  How many Chipotle burritos could Adam Richman put down in one sitting?  I would love to see that and hear him talk about how awesome it is (he loves everything he eats, I assume Chipotle would be no different).  Also, bonus points for Chipotle's role in the South Park episode "Dead Celebrities."  If Chipotle was the only fast food I could eat for the rest of my life, I'd be totally fine with that.  It's easily Number 1 in the Fast Food Power Rankings.